Normally, if I were my old self, I’d want to start out a blog site with lots of positive and encouraging posts so that you all think I am happy, kind, and a loving-life type of person. I do tend to be more optimistic than pessimistic, however, if I were to be honest about my life currently, I could not give you this impression.
1. exhaustion, even when I have enough sleep
2. learning to deal with conflict (and it not happening the way I’d like)
3. coming face to face with just how selfish, judgmental, and un-loving I can really be (SICK)
4. being overwhelmed by the things that I want/need to change in my life, and wanting them to change NOW
5. Feeling unmotivated to clean out my car, basement, blah blah blah
Today I woke up just ANGRY with how my own sin is affecting me and sucking the life out of me. At work, I thought of the image of the guy just beating his chest, repenting of his sin. I was frustrated with myself and others, wishing I could undo the things I’ve done. Nope, there was not room for me to see grace and forgiveness in this. So it was a long day.
But then, this evening…God used Jeremiah 31 to speak his heart toward me:
(Ephraim said) “Restore me, and I will return, because you are the Lord my God. After I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast. I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth.”
“Is not Ephraim my dear son, the child in whom I delight? Though I often speak against him, I still remember him. Therefore my heart yearns for him; I have great compassion for him, declares the Lord.” v.18b-20
Woah. That is my God. His heart yearns for me and he has great compassion on me. I will be ok.
How are you doing today? How do you deal with crap in your life?