Men are Basket Cases,too (Part II) Guest: Casey Hayden

*disclaimer:  Casey is not responsible for the photos, I (Katy) am.  They are in no way meant to offend.


Men don’t have to be Manly to be Good men
One of the biggest reasons men are basket cases is we are fit into a mold. We are told consistently that the definition of a man is based around our ability to be stronger and better than those around us. We make this point that men have to be caretakers.

I, Casey Hayden, am not by definition manly. And I LOVE IT! Seriously. You know how freeing it is to know that it is ok to HATE doing things that men are suppose to love. Man. It rocks.

In fact while writing this post I was listening to Whitney Houston’s I will Always Love you. And I don’t care. I watched the Vow with a bunch of females. I don’t think it makes me less of a man. I enjoy fashion. I enjoy sports. I enjoy music and songs that my guy friends typically don’t admit to most people that they listen to. Why is it ok to be like this? Because these things are not the definition of who I am as a person.A Good man is comfortable with who he is, but more importantly comfortable with who others are. A good man does not desire to shape others into a mold, except into a mold that helps them discover who Christ has created them to be. Anything more than that is a sin and you should repent. It is not about men and women being different, that is too generalized. It is like this, Casey Hayden, created by God, is a passion filled man. Katy Larson, created by God, is a passion filled female. If we just were a male and female, we would be the same as everyone else. That just can’t be so.
Men and Emotions mix well
Unlike society believes, men and emotions are already mixed. Men are emotional. Men feel deeply. Men can be hurt just as deeply as women. Men are just as much basket cases as women. We are basket cases because we are constantly discovering ways deal with our own battle that is going on inside of us.The root to all these arguments stem back to a society shaped around the idea of social constructs (going from the outside in) when it should be based primarily on who we are and how that impacts a society (inside out).

Which thus leaves us with an identity crisis. We are in a crisis to discover who we are. Are we this type of person or are we that type of person. Should I be this sports guy or should I be like that successful men. Because of this thinking, we no longer have men who are who they were created to be, rather a by-product of what society deems appropriate for their societal needs.

We need men to be basket cases, we need them to be basket cases because when they are, they discover more of who they are. When men are basket cases, they discover the heart of who they were created to be. They can now place their identity in a higher purpose, knowing full well that emotions have purpose. Joy, an emotion that creates hope.

I believe in Christ. And I believe that Christ is calling us to be emotional, basket cased, passion filled humans. Anything less will play right into the hands of a society that wishes to define you, not a Christ who already knows you.


5 thoughts on “Men are Basket Cases,too (Part II) Guest: Casey Hayden”

  1. Luv the commic :). What do you mean by ‘higher purpose’ in the second to last paragraph? I’m okay with men expressing their emotions on occasion when they are overcome by them, but I expect men to be in control of their emotions. Maybe I’m not understanding what you are saying but I don’t understand how men who habitually express feminine emotions can be secure or stable.

    1. That last sentence was supposed to be a question. Why do you think men need to be basket cases in order to discover who they are or were created to be? And are you saying all men or certain men?

  2. Good question. This post deals with the idea that all men have emotions. Emotions are not a bad thing. It is trying to deconstruct the idea that because a male has feminine qualities, it make them weak or insecure.

    A lot of my post can be summed up by the 3rd to last paragraph- “…we no longer have men who are who they were created to be, rather a by-product of what society deems appropriate for their societal needs.”

    This pushes the idea that in order for men to be men, they have to be in touch with all of their emotions. Security is not in our masculinity, but rather masculinity is an aspect of our identity. This goes for all men.

    Now, what I am not saying is, you have to be girly. I am not trying to push this idea that being a feminine guy is the only way to find out who you are. Just the opposite, exploration of your emotions (for all men) give you more control. How can we control something we do not know or experience? Emotions are healthy and not feminine.

    What I mean by “higher purpose” is that we all have purpose and worth. We experience both in their entirety by being who we are created to be which involves full expression of our all emotions.

    I was using the idea of accessing feminine qualities to show that we all have them and that it is perfectly natural and okay to express them.

    Our Stability has nothing to do with our emotions, but rather our identity. When we have an identity our emotions become a part of who we are.

    Does this help clarify? I probably should have in the post! Thanks for asking!!

    1. Yes, it does clear it up; thanks. Still not sure I really understand. Ultimatilly I think you are encouraging people to be themselves in spite of social expectations and traditional norms?

  3. I would totally date a guy who drank a skinny soy latte. Just sayin’

    And hopefully I’ll say more later. I’m glad to have you on my site, Case. I couldn’t talk about this stuff the way you do if I wanted, too. Ciao. (that’s chow in French)

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