>>Before I begin, I want to state that I in absolutely NO WAY want you to feel condemned while reading this post. I’m only attempting to share some new things I”m learning on my journey of being set free. I’m guessing some will not click with what I’m saying, which is totally fine, because we all on our own journey.
One way that I’m learning to extend grace to myself and others is by allowing emotions to be felt. We all know what it’s like to be in pain some way or another. When we’re in pain, what do we want? I know that I want the pain to go away, preferably soon.
Some ways people try to get rid of their pain and emotions are through avenues such as substance abuse, self harm (such as cutting), sex, pornography, etc. These are different ways of attempting to release, mask, and numb pain. These are only temporary fixes, but I can see why someone would run to any of these things in hopes of eliminating pain.
Why do these things not work? I’m sure I don’t know all of the answers, but I do know a couple of things. None of these allows a person to feel the natural emotions from their pain. The desire is to escape reality. There is no real healing to be had here.
This reminds me of my middle school years of braces and acne. I’d give anything to make those blasted spots on my face go away NOW! However, the dermatologist said that when I start a treatment, it would probably get worse before it would get better. This is often how healing works. Very rarely (if ever) is it an overnight thing. Sure, some makeup can mask the spots on my face, but they are still there, and may even become worse because of my efforts to temporarily “fix” them. UGH. (I apologize if the analogy grosses you out)
Living in our pain and feeling the emotions is part of the journey to being healed.
In the Christian world, we tend to think we’ve got the answers…
“Just trust God…”
“She’s in a better place.”
“God will bring a better man/woman for you.”
“Memorize this verse…”
“God is in control.”
More often than not, I think our quick “Christian” answers in response to pain can do more harm than good. To me these words communicate, “you shouldn’t hurt if you just X, Y, Z…” It looks much healthier than alcohol and drugs, but is it much different? (I’m not saying God shouldn’t be trusted, memorizing verses is dumb, etc…that is NOT the point of this). But are these coined phrases just another attempt at a quick fix?
Grace is not a formula. Grace is given to us through relationship. Grace is what can heal us. I’m sure there is more to be said, but what do you think? I mean, these are just words, but I’m trying to learn how to live this way. It’s weird.