I’ve written on the idea of wearing masks and not living in reality, and that we can be freed from such ways of living. Today I want to share an excerpt from a book that has been used to shed light on these things in my own life. It’s called, “From Bondage to Bonding,” by Nancy Groom.
One problem with our self-protective false selves and misplaced dependencies is that our masks become our prisons. We become slaves to our facades, and as the false self settles into place, the real person within becomes more and more unsubstantial. How sad to lose one’s self, “The self God intended you to be–imperishable, indestructible and of eternal value in His sight…Alienation from the true self is a terrible price to pay [for emotional survival], and a tragic waste of personhood.”
Besides, our wrong dependencies don’t “work.” They don’t get us what we long for and were created to enjoy. We want to be accepted for who we are, but our self-made dungeons keep us from even knowing who we are. We desire the freedom to be authentic and carefree, but we end up bound to others’ expectations of who we should be–expectations we ourselves helped to create. Living a lie, being someone we’re really not, never deeply satisfies. However attractive the polished exterior of our lives, we never stop longing for someone to open the door of our prison and simply love the disheveled, imperfect inmate of our soul the way a mother embraces her play-soiled child.
From behind the bars of our self-protective pretense we cannot offer freedom and love to anyone else, either…
…codependents cannot give what is essential to love because they haven’t learned to receive it themselves: the freedom to allow others to be who they are.
This excerpt is taken from pages 97 and 99 in Groom’s book, “From Bondage to Bonding.”
What do y’all think of this? Does any of it make sense? If not, what’s confusing about it?