SO, I’ve decided that between now and the New Year, I’m going to “re-blog” some of the more “popular” posts from my blog from this past year. Maybe you’ve missed some of them…feel free to share your thoughts openly.
This first post has a second part, which you can find here.
I almost had an emotional/mental breakdown yesterday. This can happen to me during the holiday season. I think it’s a mixture of my procrastination, my dislike of gift-giving, and my struggle with wanting to try to meet so-called standards or expectations I feel others/society have placed on me.
God, in his grace, helped me to breathe and calm down (after being a bit snappy with my mum). What I don’t want to do is shut down…so I pray the same for you. I pray we could really feel, be it pain or joy, this holiday season…and that in those feelings we would be reminded of the sweet gifts we’ve been given…and especially that of grace with came down in the form of a precious babe. It’s that grace that helps me to continue to LIVE, even in the midst of pain…I pray that for you, too.
I get so tired of living with a *false pretense before God and others. It really doesn’t matter where I’ve learned this tendency, what matters is that it exists and makes me want to vomit.
I have a friend whose walk with God I greatly admire. When I was struggling with depression overseas, she was sort of my life-line of encouragement. When I wanted to isolate myself and was afraid, I’d write to her and she’d quickly respond. I remember her encouraging me to just let myself unravel before God. To do with God whatever I needed to express myself as honestly as possible. She said that when she’s been in dark, confusing times, she has taken hours to just scream, yell, swear, and get real with God.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a group praying with others where I was more concerned with saying…
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